If you ever need inspiration for travelling, and fancy a laugh at the same time, then An Idiot Abroad is certainly a good place to start. Watch Karl Pilkington discover the world, one inspirational gem at a time.
On the Great Wall of China:
It goes on for miles over the hills and everything but so does the M6. You can see that for miles and that does a job. You can drive on that.
This isn’t protecting anything, is it . Because if the enemy was coming down there, come across there, buy a hot dog and then they want to get over it, only got to take your shoes and socks off. It’s not even that deep there. You can just wander around it.
I thought I’d seen the Great Wall of China. Which, being honest with you, it’s not the Great Wall; it’s an alright wall. It’s the Alright Wall of China.
On Chinese Kung Fu lessons:
It’s pretty impressive the way everyone’s remembered their kit. It was never like that for me at school. About 25 minutes were just spent with all the kids trying to find a pair of shorts out of lost property.
On India’s Holi festival:
It is just paintball basically. But without the safety. There’s no goggles.
On bathing in the Ganges:
You have to do it three times here. Three dunks. You don’t do that with a ginger nut and a cup of tea. That’s a two dunk.
On the Taj Mahal:
Have you got any feelings coming up?
Karl: Stomachs better now. It’s fine.
It looks good from the outside. That’s the sort of thing that on an estate agent, you’ll go lets go and see that but then you’ll go hang on a minute, that hasn’t sold yet. There’s a reason, the inside is not that good.
Karl: So what do you put down as an address?
Karl: And the postman would know? And everything you order always gets to your house? The cave? I can’t believe that because I order stuff and get it delivered. Sometimes it doesn’t turn up and I’ve got a postcode. That has amazed me more than the wonder.
I could be a good camel. It’s just sort of moaning.
On Chichen Itza:
It’s like an Ikea for columns.
The only thing I’m a bit gutted about is not seeing a Mexican jumping bean.
On the Pyramids:
I am getting blown away but mainly by the wind.
It’s like a game of jenga that has got out of hand.
On Christ the Redeemer
It’s like a pylon.
On the Amazon:
Why would I go to the jungle. I’ve never watched Tarzan and thought I’d like to go there on holiday.
It gets on my nerves how people say they are really intelligent because I’ve never seen any of them do anything that’s blown me away.
On Machu Picchu:
I’m struggling here. I don’t know how to sell it to you. Do you like llamas?